Birth Families’ Frequently Asked Questions

These are a few questions and concerns birth parents may have when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Please contact one of our experienced social workers to talk privately about these and other questions you may have. Our program is designed to inform you about all of your options, including adoption, so you may make an informed decision about your future.

Why do some people choose to place their baby for adoption?

Birth Parents place children for adoption for a variety of reasons including lack of finances, age, lack of stability, emotional issues, lack of emotional or financial support, or a desire to give their child opportunities they are currently unable to provide. Birth parents who choose adoption often sacrifice their own feelings to give their child a better chance in life.

It does not mean you, as a birth parent, don’t love your child. In fact, many times it means you love your child enough to choose another family to raise your child.

How can I give my baby away?

 The decision not to parent is difficult and painful. Recognizing you are not prepared to be a parent at this time in your life takes much courage and self awareness. If you make a plan of adoption for your child, you can select the adoptive family and be involved from the start to ensure your child has the best future possible. You are not “giving your baby away,” but you are making sure your child has loving parents who are ready emotionally and financially for the lifelong commitment of raising a child. Choosing adoption for your child is the most loving and unselfish decision you can make if you feel you are not ready to give your child the life you feel he or she deserves. The decision not to be a parent, when accompanied by an adoption plan, is not abandonment.

Will my child think I didn’t love him?

Adoptive parents often tell their children, even as babies, of the tremendous love their birth parents have for them. Studies show that most adopted children grow up with a great deal of respect and a very special love and appreciation for their birth parents. We encourage you to write a letter to your child and adoptive parents letting them know of your love and care in this difficult decision. There are many children’s books that help explain adoption to children in a way they can understand.

Do I have to be sure about adoption before I contact your agency and can I change my mind about adoption?

 The reason many birth parents contact us is to find out further information about adoption so they can make an informed decision. A social worker will provide you the details you need so you may decide what’s best for you and your child. You can change your mind about an adoption plan at any point before signing a relinquishment of your parental rights. In West Virginia, you cannot sign a relinquishment of your parental rights until the baby is at least 72 hours (3 days) old. You may take longer if you are not ready to make a decision.

Does the birth father of the child have any parental rights or claims to the child?

 Yes. A birth father, even when not married, has as many rights as a birth mother. His involvement in making an adoption plan for a child is legally required.

Do I have to tell my parents I am considering an adoption plan?

Your counseling sessions with a professional social worker are confidential. The law allows for a minor to make a plan of adoption for his or her child without parental permission. Your social worker will counsel you on the pros and cons of involving your parents in this life changing decision.

How will I know my child will have a good home?

 You may choose the adoptive parents from profiles of families who have been carefully screened and prepared by our social workers. Couples must attend educational training sessions and think carefully about parenting and their decision to adopt. Medical reports, references, autobiographies, background checks, a financial assessment, and home visits are required. After a child is placed with the adoptive family, an agency social worker visits the home for at least six months. This helps insure that both family and child are growing and adjusting well in a caring, loving environment before the adoption can be legally finalized. Adoptive parents are given medical and social background information you provide to insure the child receives quality care.

Can I get pictures and progress reports on my child after placement?

Some adoptive families are willing to provide pictures and letters for a period of time following placement. If you want this, we will work to match you with an adoptive family comfortable with this option.

Will my child be able to contact me someday?

You have the option of leaving your contact information about yourself should the child request this information when he or she becomes an adult. 

How will I know if I’m ready to be a parent?

Our experienced social workers will help you look at your life situation. We will provide you with information about your options, including adoption. You will have to decide if you are ready to be a parent at this time in your life.